While the end of a relationship will always prove difficult, women who receive no clear indication as to why he ended things may feel a deeper cut. This appears intuitive on the surface and could be resolved with a clear face to face conversation.
Unfortunately, things rarely end neatly. Seeing some reasons why men dump women offer a fraction of the peace of mind one originally hoped to secure through their partner.
Items in this category appear almost trivial. One would think a little clarification might snap things into place.
* Friends: Either the friends do not like you or the other way around and he ends up choosing the people he has known longer.
- Interests: You both enjoy different things and the gulf appears too vast to cross.
Distance/Traffic: Getting together challenges either time or effort and its early enough to end things without much fallout.
Compatibility: Deeper than shared interests, he hears about family, living arrangements or other issues he cannot let go.
When dealing with the sting of these issues, placing the correct weight on the situation becomes critical. One should understand everything almost never drops into place. If the relationship ends for something like a strong dislike of kickball, see it as a good thing before too much time has been invested.
This reason, on the surface, can appear to have a weight similar to minor things. If he breaks up for timing, deeper things eventually come to the surface. Let’s look at some ways timing fouls up promising relationships.
Still Searching: He might not feel prepared to make a deeper commitment. Chalking this up to immature playing the field does not allow for things like the number of serious relationships he has experienced. He may feel strongly about you while not being able to surrender to the idea of committing at the moment.
Outside Opportunity: Another reason why he may end things occurs when something really good happens for him. Everyone wants to feel they found someone willing to give up everything for them, but those people only exist in books and movies. Also, most partners would not want to accept the weight of the future if someone surrendered a dream on their behalf.
Different Places: Over the course of a single relationship, each partner may feel committed at different levels. Small things might switch someone from highly to less committed in a relatively short time. Syncing the timing for both of you is critical because no one wants someone hanging around who they believe does not want to be there.
The Independence-Dependence Dance
A complicated reason for someone ending a relationship revolves around feeling wanted without the impression of a grip that’s too tight. Both partners need to possess both of these items in the correct tension. If one side of the coin gets too heavy, it throws off the balance of the whole. Understanding each individually illuminates the interplay.
Independence: Think of this as being one’s own person. For most, a little space to grow and change feels nice. When choked out, a partner will strain like a dog against a chain seeking its freedom at all costs.
Dependence: Everyone wants to feel wanted and needed. Talk to couples who have lasted for a long period and they will point to being needed by their partner for advice and emotional support. It feels great to be needed.
Now, the balance of the two exists in an exquisite tension which gets thrown off by the smallest of things. A single conversation may tip the scale causing the partner to bail on the relationship.
When looking back at the end of the relationship, one should avoid spending too much time with the whys. The whys seduce a person into thinking his or her situation is a clear, correctable reason for the way things played out. This is almost never the case. Spend more time treasuring the good times and releasing the potential damage before moving to the next relationship.
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