Several things cause people to respond in certain ways within relationships. Couples rarely celebrate or even acknowledge the things drawing them toward one another. Only after a couple’s implosion does one start looking at situations leading to one of them from leaving. Understanding how general things make individuals sacrifice the relationship may clarify what went wrong where.
1. Outside Forces
Any number of things beyond the scope of the relationship may cause him to end things. Seeing these items clearly sometimes point to what truly matters to him.
Work: Many couples are sacrificed on the altar of the corporate climb. He might feel more of his identity aligns with his occupation rather than his relational commitments.
Hobbies: A wide variety of interests including sports, gambling, adrenaline-based challenges or video gaming drives a wedge between otherwise healthy people. While it’s easy to assume a level of immaturity, a man of any age may find himself drawn to something feeding a sense of danger or vitality.
Another Relationship: The ultimate in outside forces ends relationships. Below this single category, many problems crop up eating away at the foundation of a relationship.
2. Uncertainty about His Own Desires
He may pull away when faced with needing to answer honestly about what he wants. A man in a relationship finds putting into words the breadth and scope of his feelings are difficult. He might fear to say the wrong thing, so he opts for saying nothing at all.
3. Misreading Signals
A man in a relationship will pull away due to a simple misunderstanding about what is being said or implied. Depending on relational history, he can attribute a wide range of things to incorrect meanings. He can choose to step aside rather than fighting for a relationship believing it is what his partner wants.
4. Feeling Pressured
This reason gets attributed to numerous men. Despite the commonality of the scenario, it does not invalidate the cause of them pulling away. An important thing to remember is the sense of pressure, real or perceived, triggers a response that likely would have occurred for other reasons. One should be careful not to absorb too much blame. His sense of the situation tends to be hypersensitive.
5. Poor Relational Examples
As a reason, this situation falls into two major categories. Understanding both, in light of similar outcomes, grants peace for one’s role in their partner’s choice. Let’s review the areas individually.
Modeled Relationships: Seeing the relationship of his parents and close family members provides a template for his relational patterns moving forward. A man from a broken home can doubt if his relationships will last. Even those from a stable home with parents who are still together may feel intense pressure to live up to the example they saw. In both scenarios, a man may end the relationship before disappointing himself and his partner.
Relational Experiences: Every relationship builds on the next. Following a string of unhealthy relationships, he might believe no relationship is designed to survive. He fails to accurately see the health of the existing relationship. The man also may end things to fulfill the well-established pattern.
In all situations, one must take responsibility for their role in the relationship while acknowledging their partner makes decisions for a variety of reasons. Some of the reasons line up in a logical pattern. Some reasons are excuses to not be hurt. His pulling away is never a solitary indictment on the relationship or you. Take care not to be harmed by others decisions. It is the only way to stay whole and move forward.
Is your man pulling away? If he is, then you might want to check out Why Men Pull Away. It will teach you the communication skills you need to bring him back and work things out. Make sure you check out this free presentation before it’s gone: