Why Do Men Blame Women for Their Failed Relationships? Here’s What I Learned About the Players

Why Do Men Blame Women for Their Failed Relationships? Here's What I Learned About the Players

Now before you get upset, keep in mind that the purpose of the headline was to get your attention. Not all men are like that. Just some men. The ones who are in it for themselves. The ones looking for easy sex. The ones who prefer to look at pictures of perfect women instead of having a live breathing woman in their arms that could actually give them the kind of relationship they crave deep down inside.

You see, most men aren’t players. Most men who are players are doing it as a reaction to having been deeply hurt. They look for women who will give them what they want, or mostly what they want, like sex, because it’s easier than healing their broken hearts and keeping their eyes open to having good women. Empty sex for them is better than facing their part in attracting the woman or women who hurt them in the first place.

It’s also a way to validate themselves, to make themselves feel better as men. Men want to feel sexy and desired, and there’s nothing wrong with that. When taken to an extreme, it can mean missing out on an opportunity to be with a woman who can give him the love, challenge and relationship he truly desires.

We attract what we are. Broken people will only attract broken people. Broken men will only attract broken women. Broken women will only attract broken men. The secret to attracting a great mate is to become what we want to attract. We don’t have to become what we already are though. All we have to do is get rid of all the stuff that’s been projected onto us, and that applies to everyone. It’s easier said than done.

So what’s the real answer here?

It’s a self esteem issue. It requires dealing with the parts of our identity that cause us to attract the wrong type of person into our lives. To have what you want means first deciding what you want. It means examining all your beliefs and deciding which ones now serve you and then deciding which of those beliefs you want to keep and which ones to get rid of. Keeping a journal here can be very helpful, especially for women because it allows you to process all those toxic emotions.

This can be a scary process. Looking oneself in the mirror to see who we really are can cause a lot of fear. What if what others say about us is true? This process is often harder for men because of the way they are hardwired. A man may not even have to go through this process if he meets the right woman who can draw him out and help him connect with his emotions without feeling threatened or overwhelmed. Men want to compete, and they want to win. They want to be seen as successful. Again, this is how they’re hardwired.

First, let me explain something about other people. They don’t see us the way we are. They see us the way they are. They don’t realize that others are different. I accept the differences in others. Other people have the right to be whoever and whatever they are as long as they don’t break the law or violate the rights of others. Whatever path they choose is theirs to choose, just like the path I choose is mine to choose.

I say this because I am speaking from my own perspective, experience and seeing this in action. Others respond to us the way they feel about themselves. It’s really not personal at all. So when someone treats you badly, it’s a reflection of them, it’s not a reflection of you.

It’s a reflection of how they feel about themselves, and once you realize this, then it becomes very empowering because you’re no longer in bondage to the feelings of others. You won’t feel the need to control others. You will feel liberated knowing you can choose the way you respond to others.

Life is meant to be effortless, and it’s meant to be positive. This notion that we’re supposed to struggle to have everything in life just isn’t true. That’s not how the law of attraction works. We attract what we are, and if we’re broken, we’ll attract broken people into our lives. So if you want to stop attracting broken people, then heal your brokeness.

I warn you now that this part isn’t easy. Based on my experience of trying to heal, being flooded with all those toxic emotions and feelings that I pushed down inside for years really wasn’t easy. Having them emerge in a flood was really quite painful, and there were times that I felt like I wanted to die. I didn’t. I got better, and I got better because I didn’t want to hurt others, especially men, the way I had been hurt.

I don’t blame men for the way they feel. I don’t blame women for the way they feel. We each have a right to feel any way that we want. We also get to choose how we feel too, and when we heal, then the feelings we have are healthy, natural and positive and will bring us those things we want in life, like love.

Taking responsibility for our part in our past relationships that failed is a positive first step to getting well. It also means that we can look at how we responded to those situations within those relationships so we don’t make the same mistakes again. In the end, it’s not about what happened that matters. It’s how we chose to respond that does.

Change your beliefs, heal your feelings and emotions, and when you do that, the type of person you attract will change, and it will change for the better.

So What Do I Need to Do Next?

For those who have painful memories in their past that need to be healed, I highly recommend The Healing Codes. This system is a form of energy medicine that will heal all of the painful fear based memories you may be holding onto. It was developed by a medical doctor who was trying to help his wife heal her severe depression.

I’ve used it to heal my Post Traumatic Stress. When Post Traumatic Stress isn’t healed, it becomes depression, and the pain you experience becomes pervasive. This will heal all that.

You can get a free account at their site. Click here: The Healing Codes

For those who are looking for relationship advice to help you attract great dates, meet beautiful women or hot sexy men, then I have something for you too. You can get your free report by clicking the links below:

For Men Only: Secrets Most Men Will Never Know About Women

For Women Only: How to Get a Man to Love You: The Incredible 7 Step Guide

We were all born to love and be loved. It’s a part of who we really are. Don’t deny yourself the love and happiness you desire. What do other people know anyway?

Jinger Jarrett

Jinger Jarrett is a full time freelance writer, author and internet marketer who teaches small businesses how to get started online and then market their businesses for free. She is also a US Army Veteran and seeks to connect with other veterans who are interested in starting a business or are currently business owners and want to connect.